the funeral cult

I was grieving. Somebody just died and I don't know who it was. It was a full moon night on the beach and as silent as ocean's bottom except for the only noise of water waves exploding into each other touching the shore. I was standing on the beach. There were two more people adjusting the big flag like banners of triangular shapes. They were adjusting it to form two edges of a door, a wide door whose one side will take you to the sea and the other side will take you to the land of humans. The flags were waving with the winds and with the music of waves. Here I was standing and listening and watching without any thought. My eyes were seeing but not watching , my ears were hearing but not listening, everything was moving and that was it. The mind was empty. The heart was feeling nothing except for the chill the cold air showering gracefully. 

One of the banners had my name on it and the other had some other name which I do not remember. May be it belonged to the same person whose ashes  I was holding in my hands. Supposedly, it was the 'after death' ritual I saw. It was more ancient tribal ritual then the common practices we know. The next moment I saw I was laying on sand, more like covered in sand like a blanket except my face. adjacent to me there was another pile of sand but there was no on but the ashes resting peacefully with me. the water covering the sand with water in rhythm and it was me who was getting wet. it was me who was feeling the temperature of cold water but it was not bothering me. It was as if nothing could harm me at that moment or nothing could ever excite me. The life was going on because it can not move backwards, the time felt stagnant. There was no one except the moon, the coolness, the faint sound of sea, and my heart who is feeling nothing. 

those two people were watching me laying next to my beloved one. 

                                                                                                                                                          Y1D1